My Weakness Is My Strength
If you were to ask me what I thought the weak spot was in my personality, I’d say it’s that I feel extremely deeply. If you were to then ask me what my best quality is, I’d say that it’s my ability to feel extremely deeply.
*Cue Narrator voice: She’s a curious one, that Valerie Sue. A curious one, indeed.*
Crying on my mother’s shoulder a few years ago, she told me, “You feel the happiest happy and the saddest sad. But that’s not a bad thing, Vallee girl. You are not numb to life. You truly feel. You truly feel your life.”
You can tell I’ve explored this trait of mine quite a bit, as my father recently told me, “You are truly human and truly alive. No façade with you. What you see is what you get – and that is rarity in the world today as most people prefer to be known by perception as reality. You’re genuine.”
What beautiful ways to put it. And they’re absolutely right. I feel everything so very deeply. I cry picking out greeting cards and while watching a video of a stray dog find a home. I laugh when I see a child jump in a puddle, almost as if their glee becomes my own. When a flight to visit family gets cancelled, I wipe the sniffles from nose as I walk to the taxi line. And when I cannot hug a grieving loved one, my heart physically aches.
I could go on and on with examples, but I’m not one for overkill. My point is that my day-to-day life is filled with such emotion. Some may think that’s annoying and over-the-top. Others may find it charming or sweet. Me? I’d say both sides are right.
Living life truly feeling everything can absolutely be an annoyance. I don’t always understand why others aren’t as bothered or excited as I am when something happens. When something feels off – in a situation or with someone – I immediately sense it. After I have a disagreement with someone, I have to wait until everything feels fine before I’m certain all is well. I’ve been told that I can be overly sensitive or overreact in certain situations. Hmm, maybe. (And I can be pretty sassy sometimes.)
But feeling everything in life is also my greatest blessing.
I care. I care about you and about your life and your happiness.
I empathize. I listen and share, and I try to carry when you need me to carry.
I hurt. I hurt when you hurt, and I allow myself to fully grieve my own losses.
I cry. I cry for happiness and pain and fear and excitement.
I laugh. My Dad says that I laugh deep from within my soul. I like to think he’s right.
I love. I love so very deeply.
I know that I am a passionate person who invests my emotions in all I do. I am often unable to “not care” and that, I suppose, can be both a weakness and a strength. But I am someone who would rather care too much in my life – to feel the bliss and pain that come with that – than to not care enough.
Not everyone feels so heavily. And not everyone would want to. But I am grateful that the spectrum of emotions resides within me. It allows me to feel pure happiness. It allows me to connect with you. It allows me to open my heart, to feel it beating, to know I am fully living.
I am fully living. And that feels good.